Why Do Women Cheat? What Can I Do To Stop It?
Texting and social media are prime examples. Women text more than men, and they are much more likely to utilize social media Facebook , Instagram, and the like. And women typically post not just more often, but more openly. For the most part, women are seeking online what they seek in life - meaningful emotional connection.
And if the digital connections they find come with an element of sexual stimulation, so be it. Ninety percent of the males and 70 percent of the females on AM state in their profiles that they are married. Even though most women who engage in relationship infidelity understand on some level that what they are doing is potentially harmful to both their relationship and their partner, they continue with the behavior. But why? Below are ten common reasons for female infidelity. Relationship infidelity can be incredibly damaging on many levels.
Interestingly, it is usually not any specific sexual or romantic act that hurts the most. This is doubly true when infidelity continues past the initial discovery, as it often does. And there are more types of infidelity than just sexual. In fact, financial infidelity the keeping of financial secrets is very, very common. For many women who cheat, stopping the behavior is more difficult than they expect.
This is because their reasons for doing what they do are usually long-buried and complex. Many women need the assistance of a skilled psychotherapist to parse through the layers of trauma, abuse, and neglect that drive their extramarital activity. If the woman turns out to be a sex or love addict, then more specialized treatment will be needed, such as that found in programs at the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles and the Center for Relationship and Sexual Recovery at The Ranch in Tennessee.
Twelve-step support for women dealing with sex and love addiction is also helpful, and best found in Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Sadly, even when skilled therapists are involved, some couples are unable to overcome the damage and loss of trust caused by infidelity. Only read bits of this article. Am a woman. We don't just fuck for emotional shit Get over it, we are sexual. Why do you stupid boys get hung up on women being hung up on you. This article is way off -- we all know that women cheat because they are selfish and convinced that they are entitled to the best of everything Unmarried men take note: Hit it and Quit it is the wisest policy for menyou'll have a much happier life.
Cheating is such an easy way to get out of a relationship or rather not working on solving issues as mature people. It is treated like a pain remedy, entitlement, trophy or a present from Santa for dealing with a relationship that one completely feels is just not worth it or they have put up enough with. What surprises me is the fact that people today have the courage to propose affairs like it is a preposition for better life while they are in an active relationship or married or engaged. What I fail to understand is, where do these people get that courage from and what on earth do they value the existence of the other person as?
Do they even think about the consequences, emotional torture they cause everyone involved and what about their own dignity? Did they sell it somewhere on "Oh I so need a break" street or "I am in love with someone else now" street. The worst is that when you don't accept such people's proposal, they charge back at you as if you are at fault for shattering their desires.
They throw out lines like "Now I see the positives of the person I am involved with" or the terrible one "You know I will always love you even though I understand the situation". How about accepting their mistake and apologies sincerely and understand that they lack character. Treat the other person with respect and focus on their relationship. It all started 3 years ago.. I made excuses to stay up till late at home while my husband went off to bed around 8. I was a night owl and pretended I was watching my late TV series. I got carried away and started chatting to guys on RSVP.
Things went from there and eventually I gave in to a secret to come to our family home.. I lied about my husband health He's been a type 2 Diabetic for quite a few years ago and lost his ability to perform.. I obviously hurt his feelings badly.. I went along.. He wished me well and told me to move on as there can never be anything between us anymore. I suddenly felt that he meant it and realised what I've truly lost..
It started off with: My husband stayed up till late and he noticed something popped up on my iphone.. I lied about it and that was the beginning of my nightmare.. I prayed to God that he would not ask to see my iPhone but little did I know he went about it another way..
Ask Ammanda: My husband keeps cheating
An IT friend of his, who used to work for Apple, guided him on how to connect all of our devices together using our home base PC and Internet connection without even touching my iPhone. My lover came around a couple of days prior to the school holidays of December to reset and remove everything from my iPhone via the iTunes earlier backups but it was too late.
My husband had recovered, downloaded and saved everything on the PC and was waiting for the right time to blast me I kept lying without knowing that he had all the proof.. I've pulled the last straw and lost my husband, my soulmate for ever because of my own doing, my ego, lust and stupidity. I lied to a point of no return until the day he showed me everything I had on my iPhone, all the emails, messages and deals on my days off to have sex.. What cuts deep, he told me: you should have told me the truth and things could have been a lot different but now the trust is gone forever and a reconciliation does not exist in my vocabulary.
Its your actions, your behaviour, your consistent lying that have killed everything. I will never ever trust you again? It's too far gone and when I look at you whores, you're all the same. The original sin created by Eve has rubbed off on you.. It's hell for me due to my embarrassment just thinking of being a statistic, the shame to face our Catholic community and my work colleagues as they are all close to and adore my husband. My husband wants nothing to do with me. He's a man of his word and tough in his decision and judgement.
You've chosen the wrong man to play such fucking games with.. After all, as my husband puts it: you created this bed, so sleep in it whore Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate your courage to share your painful personal memory. It must have been carved deep in your mind indeed, since you could remember much details from the conversation with your husband. As a male and someone who I consider myself like your husband a man of his word and tough in his decision and judgement , I could relate the anger, pain and sorrow of your husband when he said those, and I felt sorry for him too.
I hope some day, maybe some day, you find a little bit of peace in your mind.
This was not written by a woman, this was written by a man scorned. Super Obvious--which is why there is so much "husband" dialogue about "whores. Get over it. I wrote my nightmare in the hope It will help someone.. You can think, say what you want..
Im scared to walk away as my son in law is a Muslim who will stop me from seeing my granddaughter and the new baby due in January.. He is close to my Ex, they get on very well.. I gave to live this nightmare.. Dianne, you sound like a professional at cheating.. Maybe I need to learn how to become a Pro.. Whether you believe or not is not my ultimate need.. Having heard how Muslim men react to women that stray is a nightmare in itself.. Rest my case.. Uh--what on earth does my comment considering the non-belief it was written by a woman have to do with me cheating?
I've never cheated on anyone. I don't make commitments I can't keep. I clicked on this because I knew there would be a tirade of women-hating b.
- My wife cheated and let her lover do things she’d never let me do..
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Because it is fun, and it takes you away from the mundane. Your life with hubby might be great, but it is always better when you start a new relationship. I love meeting new people, and I will do this for as long as I can. Like they say, life is short Why bother getting married? Stay single then you can do as many men as you so wish everyday.. And that is why guys never call you back You are not that your self..
Just a piece of meat.. Cheaters are stupid. I bumped into the man I slept with.. That dug deep.. I then realised that he only wanted one thing from me.. Now I know the intense damage Ive done.. More power to you - this is the most feminist, in the true sense of the word, statement I have seen on here. Now shrinks, go and preach this : "both sexes like to fuck around just for the sake of it" No analysis required. And stop trying to "cure" us of what comes naturally.
Life is full of pleasant and unpleasant experiences.. This was not and will never be ne.. He misled me and so was st my weakest point. Since my husband discovered it, the guy has fled the church and has not been back ever.. He told me outright: si ce I married you, no other women would have moved me.. I chose you, so I ignore temptations.. You have my blessings, go to your lover.. We were not meant to be together until death..
That guy is gone and never got in touch with me and this is why I feel cheap, dirty and used.. Ive lost my dignity for good.. Peace be with you.. Some men, unfortunately, will never get it. I don't know where you are going to interview these women cause they do not represent the real psyche of the average woman in today's time. As other commentor said, women just dont cheat for emotional reasons.
As for myself, I enjoy the act and can do without any emotional attachment. I tend to find that nearly every man I meet is over-emotional. A few did not want to have sex until a commitment was promised. This is my life. Truthfully, I am overcoming anxiety of commitment. To cheaters, just be honest to everyone you meet up front, and let them know this is how you are. Again, as I said, it hasn't stopped many men from falling in love with me and being loyal, faithful and ready to marry. So please, stop with all this psychology crap and undersatnd we are all human and sexual beings.
Some will and some wont. In my experience, men are not different from women. However, I can say that I am not the average woman. I want to be you. Married 25 years, with society's stigma that I have to be monogamous and faithful. I just want to screw almost every guy I see I am sure that with all DNA research, eventually scientisits will identify a marker on one of the chromosomes that reveals "predisposition for extra marital affairs" or "dog in heat gene" and while every person defending the fact that they are sexual beings, what does it say about your sensibility.
Using random sex to validate your desire is simply reckless. Children, friends, parents, siblings are all victims of your cheating ways. Maybe 2 years later you will agree here. Maybe Karma paid a visit.
What It’s Really Like to Cheat and Be Cheated On, According to 10 Women
Eating ice cream brings pleasure - I am sure you would judge a person who eats bowl after bowl -. It is what men always knew to be true, that most women are slutty and they have affairs for that very reason. Think of it this way.. Guys, imagine that, you cum once, then 2 minutes later you are ready to cum again, and on and on and on and on. That would be unbelievably pleasurable and you would want to satisfy that "thirst".
Well, this is the gift that most women have. They are multi-orgasmic and are simply searching to satisfy that very real physical need. Naomi Wolf's dream for women has come to fruition, namely, women have learned to "bring out the inner slut". Anonymous, I wonder why is it that men fall madly and helplessly in love with the very women they term as "sluts"? Just maybe these women who are okay with there sexuality totally shatters all these centuries of myths in regards to men being the ones ready all the the time, and, feeling all the time.
Again, the main idea is, that in reality, some men and women will cheat , and some wont. My point is that gender may only be regarded in a slight degree in terms of roles and functions, but not traits and characteristics derived by many aspects. Only reads part of it and draws self righteous conclusion.
Ask Ammanda: My husband keeps cheating | Relate
Next time read it all before you shoot your mouth off. Nobody said all women only fuck for emotional reasons. Not even close. And not a very relevant point, in context, even if it had been said. Very few besides funDUMBental religious types and their ilk truly take issue with females enjoying sex or really even being "sluts", the issue is cheating, which is entirely different. Being a slut, skank, whore or any number of variations is not the same as being polyamorous or being in an open relationship.
I've been in both in those for years at a time, worked and played at a swingers club for awhile, have been attracted to and physically involved with a girl whose profession I'm not even sure how to describe other than "she's in the adult services industry", and more, and have no issues at all with any if that or others who manage to find even more fun..
That last part is the key. At 44 years old, I have still never cheated on anyone and never will. Not even a kiss. Well, not a French kiss anyway. Kinda like I don't rape, murder, steal, etc. As far as the article goes, I tend to agree with most of the list of reasons, though I think there's overlap with a list for us males, so I'm not sure how beneficial separate lists for the sexes is.
And I think it kind of misses the main point, unless I overlooked it:. A women cheated on her long term boyfriend with me. I thought it was a one time deal, but it happened many more times. It was long distance and after about 2 years she cut me off completely. Later we talked about what happened, specifically why she cheated and why she stopped. I never got satisfactory answers, but she often implied that it was my fault that she cheated. I would be very interested to hear from women that might have insight about this. She did say she was lonely but that seems insufficient to explain such long term cheating.
What did you offer after two years with respect to furthering the relationship? Live together? I appreciate the feedback. Well before 2 years I offered to move to her. And I meant it. I can understand that she had to make a choice and it was not me. Perhaps she just took the safe choice. But what I still struggle with re: the subject of the article is why she cheated to begin with and why for so long. Why she invested so much in me while in a long term relationship with someone else. It was obviously stressful and conflicting.
Just makes no sense. Hi Mark, I am not claiming to be a relationship expert, but I do work in the field of sexuality. My guess, based on the little you've shared, is that she was enjoying you as a way to meet needs that were not met within her marriage. You were part of her life, not being groomed to be her next husband or an alternative to the one she had. If there was pressure for more, she would have had to end it rather than end her marriage and continue with you.
Men do this all the time, and often will say things like "when the kids are in college I'll divorce her and be with you" rather than being clear with the intention or the position of the mistress.
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Not all relationships, even when profound, meaningful and beautiful lead to a monogamous happy ever after exclusive coupledom. Some are there to support another's non exclusive coupledom that is lacking something. Thank you Freja for your thoughtful comments, I very much appreciate the feedback. I guess that you are basically correct, we were not on the same page apparently I have been with my husband for eleven years now or more. Lived in for about two years and married for almost three.
He used to be cold with me at home and outside. Never appreciative of what I did for him. Not interested in sex and when he was he would do it how he wanted to. Once when I brought it up, he said 'sex is not everything'. Refused to go to a doctor. Didn't celebrate my first birthday after marriage and when I was upset about it, got mad at me for being upset. Was stingy when it came to money. When I would be away for months in another country on work, he wouldn't even ask me to send him a picture of mine or a video call.
Would cross the road leaving me behind, walk far ahead of me whenever we were out. I became so depressed, at one point thinking something was wrong with me, that perhaps I was undesirable. I fought with him over these issues a zillion times, cried to the point where I thought I would go blind. While being away again in another country some months back, something happened.
I stopped feeling anything for him at all. I told him there is absolutely no dignity in my position. Told him what have I not got in the relationship without fighting for it, that too a zillion times? Sex, affection, money. He said he had made changes, was trying and wanted another chance. A while after that, I started seeing this guy, it just happened. Had something like this happened some years ago, I would have been engulfed by guilt. But I don't feel any guilt, at all.
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When I got back to where my husband lives, he tried to get intimate with me and I refused. He asked me the reason. I said for so many years you have only wanted to have sex when you wanted it and when you did, the way you wanted to, now I don't want to anymore. He said because of what all I had said to him because he had a low sex drive, he had gone into depression and started seeing a therapist while I was away. Later I was thinking, really? What about all these eleven years of depression I have been through when you didn't want to have sex with me? And because I said something to him he's depressed?
Yes, my husband has made changes, makes an effort but if I feel so much resentment towards him. I don't think I can ever forget or forgive. If I stay with him, I will have no respect for myself. I do not want to be with a man whom I have had to literally force to make changes. I hope you will take the te to share withe what happened with you and your husband.
Did you end up leaving him? Are you happier now? Please share. I am going through similarities now. Thank you. Wouldn't you think by just after a few months if you aren't making each other happy it's time to go separate ways. Let me also add, if I would get catcalled or some man would keep staring at me and I would tell my husband about it. He would just say 'I didn't notice'.
Would never ask for my Uber details even when i would travel at night. One afternoon while I was in the cab and talking to my husband on the phone, the driver kept turning around and staring a me making me really uncomfortable. I asked the driver what his problem was angrily and he turned around. When my husband asked me what happened, I told him.
A few seconds after that he went, 'okay I'll hang up then. Catch you later. I'm not sure if you are just over-venting, but it sounds like you've had a miserable 11 years and have or are currently cheating on your husband. He at least acknowledges there is a problem and is trying to get help. But you say it is too-little-too-late. This is my opinion, but there is no excuse for cheating on him. If you want out of the marriage then divorce.
If you want to work on a better marriage get counseling or at least express your dislikes and not softly, something like "I am very unhappy with our marriage and have considered that we should separate" as an opener to get his attention. It sounds from your first post that you are trying to pile up the blame on him so that you are "justified. You are not a victim. This second post about him ignoring you by not getting jealous, many people would feel like a jealous and questioning spouse doesn't trust them.
Perhaps he is showing his unfounded trust in you. Sorry to be hard, but I've been cheated on and would have preferred not to have been surprised. Most women unfortunately do cheat much more since they really think they're all that since Feminism has brought out the worse in women today, and it is sad that the great majority of these women just can't stay with only one man anymore today. Been there. Uh, what about those new men those women end up with?
Why did they not stay with their original woman? Sounds like you haven't thought this through!