My Mothers Gold Ring Founded on Fact Eighth Edition

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  1. 50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy and Counseling
  2. My Mother's Gold Ring: Founded on Fact
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I'm still waiting on an answer from BT on this one! I've had a couple of dead calls as soon as I pick up they're dead the first I ignored but did I didn't recognise the number so ignored it. Now I've had a call that went dead I wasn't sure about the number called it but was told it was a wrong number I tried twice it looks like a normal number from my area. I can deal with any scams they can't get anything out of me but if they say, spoof my landline or mobile I'll get charged and have no idea.

I'm just guessing here but a bit concerned? I phoned my accountant on a different line to check this wasn't correct as I usually have a refund. I just got a phone call asking if they were speaking with [my name]. I decided to ask where this professional sounding person was calling from, but they hung up instead. I called back, in case it was more legitimate.

The first time and this second time, after asking for my name, the phone went dead for a second or two as if we we having connection issues causing the loss of sound, instead of static, but they still wanted to persist in knowing if I was [insert name here]. I persisted in knowing where they were calling from. The representative hung up a second time.

I called back again, immediately. This time I told them it was me, and then asked who they were since I had affirmed but the person then said to confirm with my address, dob, and social security number. I told them, at that point that if they couldn't tell me what credit company they were calling from, then I couldn't and would have to go. I, then, hung up. The role of ensuring that businesses operate within the law and clients are not short charged is for ever body.

50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy and Counseling

You must take action every moment that malpractice is identified. If you do not report a malpractice, the respective business will advance it to other clients. Besides, others might take the same malpractice and completely compromise quality standards. In other cases, business malpractices such as those involving sale of expired medication are a great threat to people's health.

I was contacted by telephone today at 3pm by Homeserve demanding money concerning nuisance telephone calls. Apparently I agreed for them to block calls. This was over 2 years ago and its hard to remember exactly what was said but to my knowledge money wasn't mentioned, if it had been I certainly wouldn't have taken them up on their offer.

These companies send know information through the post so you have no idea what you have or havn't agreed to. I Googled Homeserve and apparently they have been fined millions of pounds over the last few years for misguiding people as to what they were actually agreeing to.

I don't know what my rights are on this so I am holding out till I get more information. Has anyone else had the same problem with phone blocking and if so how did you resolve it. I keep having the same number call me when I hear a Asian voice sorry I put the phone down but this morning having nothing better to do I listened he knew my name he said someone was using my internet connection and my identity was in danger at that i put the phone down.

I get many of these calls, tell us how we can stop them at source. One of the biggest problems is people in pain or illness. I was in a lot of pain recently and getting to the phone was very very painfull, it might have been the Doctor with help but no, just some crook with another boilers-on-benefits scam. I was called from a UK mobile number regarding debt advice I had looked up advice about debt a few weeks earlier so it made sense to receive a call from a company trying to get me on their books. When I said I wasn't interested the man said "why did you look us up then" - I was livid - I asked to speak to his manager.

He was equally rude - I explained that I understood they were probably bonused on sign ups to the service but there's a limit to how far you push to try to close. I said my circumstances could have changed and that it was none of their business why I looked them up and besides they were slow off the mark to call me anyway. I asked for the company address and registration number - they just said Manchester and that it was none of my business regarding the company reg number - they were aggressive - I asked for their boss' name and number so I could call him to make a complaint at a later point as they advised he wasn't in.

Then they told me to go to hell - I'm afraid I advised him to do something similar in expletive terms and he hung up. I can't call the number back - I'm really angry and I am sure this is a scam though of what nature I'm unsure. Can you tell me what these people are calling for - I suspect the fact that they kept me on the phone in spite of the fact I was angry and clearly not going to convert, they reverse charges.

This call is very distressing - I am currently seeking a non molestation order as my ex- partner is harassing and threatening me - so I am waiting for calls from police and solicitors and half expecting him to attempt to call me from a different number which he does regularly - to have this stress on top just made me snap and I want to know how I can report these people. They ought to be regulated to. I hope I manage to deal with this type of call but do worry about when my husband or myself get older whether we may be more susceptible to these awful people.

I often check the number and leave a comment, if I haave answered. Today though I have had several twice from the same number, none are registered on any of the scam numbers although one did come up as if it was a telephone number but that was about all I could find the others just didn't exist as I said checking on google. This is when I find it worrying! I had a call today at The phone rang, when I picked up my phone it started ringing out a number where a woman asked if I was me, then went on to say they had recently sent me some information about equity release.

I got rid of her and tried to see what the number was that had rung but it was blocked. Is this a scam to take money for the call? I was called on my mobile last night from by an apparently irate "yellow cab" driver who claimed that either I or someone I authorised using my phone number to book a taxi and not pay. I am not sure if he claimed a journey was made, or was just summoning a cab. I just said my phone had been in my personal possession for several weeks, had not called booking a cab nor had I authorised anyone else to do so.

He started making unpleasant threats about getting the money out of me, and I simply said "good luck with that" and cut him off. I received a scam call today I rang and got the phone number I tried to ring the fraud squad but after waiting for 30 mins and then another 30 mins I gave up reporting them Crime is on the increase you wonder why when you cannot report it. I get with-held calls from an Asian man who knows my name. I ask who is calling but he continues to ask me is this your name? When I say yes, he hangs up? What kind of scam is this? Should I be worried?

I am worried. I have had many silent calls lately. I use the service to get the callers number,but when i ring it UK numbers i get a message saying the number is not in use. Very annoying!!! Dating sites are the worst. They will get a number from google or broadband to match the area code they claim they are calling from. To fit their profile. It is hard to catch them doing this. Does anybody know a service that can tell you who you are dealing with when they do this? It is almost untraceable. I received a call by someone saying that was just a opinion call, she knew my full name, which is big, my address and started to ask several personal questions about me, as I was expecting one phone call about a research I answered some, but then she was just asking questions about me, not opinion statements about products as what was supposed to be.

I asked what was the company name and what were all the data for, and she kept saying, don't worry it isn't to buy something but when I said that by law "you has to give me that information", she finished the call. If you get an automated phone call from from a bank do not call the number provided. In my case it turned out that the bank had not made any calls. Im tps registerd i get a lot of these scam calls claiming to be everything from CAB to debt collectors fake loan companys that claim they operate outside tps hate to say it but allways indian sounding.

I have found one usefull tool in identifing whos calling i use "who called me" app and a number blocker that dosent let them thro but still tells me they tried to call i had one call40 times in one day 30 the next and it just kept going unfornetly im yet to find away of reporting these calls to a govening body apart from calling police. I am subject to cold calling on a frequent and regular basis, probably at least once a week. I am savvy enough to recognise spam calls, which often purport to be on behalf of my internet service provider and usually claiming to have identified a problem with my laptop computer's security - even when it's shut down!

I had a call from someone pretending to be a detective from the Police in Birmingham, who said he'd noticed unusual activity on my debit card. As if! He kept asking me to call the number on the back of my bank card and I just calmly said 'ok', but didn't call back. I'm sure some people who haven't heard about this scam would have panicked, especially if they were elderly.

I think a lot of calls trying to get one to invest in solar Panels for on the roof are scammers and a lot of these PPI firms trying to get one to check if one has had PPI. I thought I was pretty savvy but was talked into giving some bank details. I was reassured partly as not all my card number was requested but did not realise the digits on the back of my card are the same as the last 4 on the front.

I was lucky, I did not call the number given me to check about the call I rang my bank fraud line who confirmed this was a common con and my card was cancelled before anything was taken. The call related to a service I do use and the caller seemed to have knowledge of the bank I use. I was quite ashamed that I had been fooled. I recent got an email asking what kind of debt I am in they seem to offer a similar plan to pay plan I have had a courier collect all statements birth cert and other stuff.

I was told it is a free government scheme, I was worried my wages were to be stolen but were there on the 20th. I have a gut feeling it's ok but only ok. If you get an unusual number don't answer but google it This has helped me with lots of unknown calls recently The above advice is very good about callers. I was conned in when I was waiting to go into hospital for a breast cancer operation. I was very vulnerable at that particular time in my life and was told by the caller that it was Microsoft on the telephone and they knew I was having trouble login into my laptop which I was, that morning, I still think they were using something to interfere with the connection and login.

I knew deep down, it's that gut instinct. As I typed my bank details and card number into the computer as advised by them, I deleted it once, and the man stayed on the telephone coercing me the whole time, even when I questioned him he remained calm, The outcome is I did sign up for something I didnot even need and I had computer insurance which I was paying monthly for.

I lost that money as the banks said you gave them your card details and gave permission for them to withdraw the money from your account. So the above advice is great for all of us, I am certainly more suspicious of any calls I receive these days. In fact I received a phone call from a lady the other day saying she was from Money Advice, I told the lady that they would not ring me up out of the blue and she said they would but did put the phone down, they never rang back.

I receive endless emails supposedly from Paypal. I have never had a paypal account and have been in touch with paypal, they asked me to forward them to a special address but it hasn't stopped them. It has been going on for about 9 months! Incidentally I can't type my name as requested underneath - it doesn't work. Most of the advice is common sense but people are in their own homes and not on their guard when called. Remember these scammers are professional and good at what they do. Also they target the most vulnerable- quite despicable. Why are these scammers still on the loose.

Is there not enough technology to outwit these lowlifers. Can we cut the lines to the countries where these calls come from or can the calls be filtered. I get about 6 calls a day and some drop the phone when I go to the bother of answering it. What's this about. Checking if house occupied!! This is maybe a scam too!! We had an number ringing constantly, we left the answer phone on, I dialled the number with in front of it and there was a BT text call from a mobile number we didn't know saying there was an emergency etc, we didn't respond.

Most helpful information. I have had quite a few 'doubtful'calls. Always ring off without giving any reason for doing so. Hi I have had 3 scams in one day. Check your statement regularly or check with the organisation. I am 75 years old but am computer savvy it's dangerous to be unwise a life savings GONE!!! I registered my number with the telephone preference service, and haven't had any unwanted calls whatsoever in 6months.

I also have a phone with bt call guardian built-in. If someone calls, before the phone rings to alert you, the caller has to state who they are. This along with caller display seems to work for me. I was concerned because I am a TalkTalk customer, but fingers crossed, everything seems ok.

I gave received over emails in less than 12 hrs all with a red warning notice on them. All companies that seem genuine but no products that I've enquired about. What a laugh!!!!!!!!!!!! I filter all my calls; the answer phone message starts after 2 rings. Most calls are automated voices or hang up when the answer phone message starts. Tell frequent genuine callers to state their name and you will pick up.

After a 2 week absence I had 26 messages; 20 were sales or hang ups. I have phones with screens that tell me the number that is calling and the name if they are on my list. But usually once the answerphone starts they ring off without even listening to the message. Job done! Calls saying my laptop is faulty. A call wanting 8 nos. A call from a mobile no. I've had lots of emails asking me to update my PayPal details.

Whoever wrote it obviously doesn't have a very good command of English. Always be suspicious of grammar or spelling mistakes. Missed the one where someone pretends to be from software company, says licence has expired or been blocked then gains your trust and you allow them access to your PC to fix faults, they then generate false faults load Trojans and lock up your PC, and hold you to ransom to unlock it, and steal your details etc. Recently shown on watchdog, two weeks later someone tried it with me, I told him he was speaking out of bottom of his pants and to politely go away.

But Be aware. Any email purporting to be from a bank should also be forwarded to the bank in question through their SPAM link. A phone which blocks anonymous calls is also a good 'weapon' in this battle. I immediately told them to get stuffed as I had received a similar call about 12 months ago. At that time the person gave a convincing argument to me and demonstrated over the phone about these viruses by somehow manipulating my laptop. Naturally at the end of the conversation they wanted me to purchase some prevention from them.

Fortunately I resisted the temptation. I agree with all the previous comments and I endorse the suggestion that our Government should take action like in Germany to make these nuisance calls illegal!!! Also, please do not be afraid to be rude to these scammers and tell them exactly what you think of them. Never mind 'God is watching you'. Just tell them where to go!!! I haven't answered my landline for many months but they are now calling my mobile.

Fortunately I can save their number if they use one as 'Cold Call' and I am ready for the next one. Fight back or they will just keep calling you. Like quite a few people who have commented I have also had calls from people claiming to be from BT and also Microsoft in both cases I told them I did not believe them and put the phone down, in the case of Microsoft he rang back and asked me why I had put the phone so I reiterated that I did not believe him.

Great content, really helpful advice, but clarity of the message is diluted by too many stats, one key stat is enough to drive the message home. When compiling such things "More is Less". I have had a number of calls from men and women with Indian accents telling me they represent Google, and my computer is being hacked.

This is a scam because Google would never ring you, also tell them if you speak to them you do not have a computer, then say goodbye. I told her I didn't have my card on me, as I wasn't at home. She said she would phone later. I told her I wasn't interested, and she hung up. I have had various calls, recently I received a call from someone posing as a BT adviser, I said I was not interested as I had all that I needed and put the phone down.

I have also received calls from someone who said that they were from Microsoft and that I had a problem with my computer. I did not have a problem and again I put the phone down. I find putting the phone down sufficient action. Useful as ever , however I could do without the statistical break down of how many people have been effected. I have so much to read elsewhere that bullet points are always appreciated. The stats could be written elsewhere?

Like Jaybee my mum keeps getting calls from a company claiming that they work for Microsoft, advising her that she has malware on her computer and she should let them log in to it in order to fix it. My mum does NOT have a computer. I answered the phone to these scammers one day and my solution was to keep them talking for nearly an hour whilst they thought I was trying to log into the computer, After A while I had to tell him there was no computer at which point I was sworn at and hung up on.

I have Caller Display. I combat any scams on the telephone by putting on a message on the answerphone to say I don't answer Unavailable, Withheld or unknown numbers. I only answer calls from friends or family and "if you are a cold caller, you are wasting your time"!

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My phone calls have dropped considerably! I delete unsolicited texts. If I get an unsolicited phone call I tell the person to 'please remove my details from the database as I do not take unsolicited calls'. That gets rid of them! Anything to keep the vulnerable all of us safe is a worthwhile activity, having watched a 96 year old fend off scammers I personally know how credible they can be. I have recently been hit by one of these scams. My computer broke down over the weekend so I used an online company to fix it. I checked a few and chose one that sounded reputable. I had to pay to have it fixed about the same as the local person who was not open at the time.

They went through strict script including that they would never offer to refund the money. I got emails again warning of this. I got a phone call requesting feedback, and a couple of follow up calls. Then I got a call saying they needed to update my programs and needed to access the computer again. The number was similar to the one I originally called and I felt confident they were the right company.

Strange things started happening on my screen including setting up an AOL email, supposedly to divert spam mail into. I was getting worried then the mention of refunding the money. Because I had Windows 8. Open your online banking. They then started looking at all my accounts. I got my husband to call the bank and eventually confirmed they could not get into my account, so I hung up. I got a confirmation message the money would be refunded in 2 working days.

Still waiting. They a much more abusive message. Now you have no computer, we have locked it and you cannot get into it. I have not called back, I am not going to let them hold me to ransom to have my computer opened. The original company are trying to help me get it open. If not I will get a new computer. They will not get any money. All I want are my photo's which they have deleted from my external hard drive, and they were on my computer in lightroom, thousands of them. All my travels. I learnt the hard way. Any ideas of who I can get to help me would be greatly appreciated. I have recently had a spoof email supposedly from Microsoft saying that I had a fault on my computer which would cause a crash soon.

They said they could fix it if I gave them access to my computer which being worried I did. After searching my computer they said that I could get an immediate fix by paying directly a huge sum to them. When I said I could'nt afford it they dropped the fee twice. I was suspicious so told them I was cutting the connection. I have been worried since in case they had picked up any info from my PC.

Can this happen? I have had no trouble that I can see. Now I would not allow this situation again but I was innocent and not suspecting. I am thinking at this point a certified letter with copies to the licensing board? She left me flat with no referals nothing. I am very sorry to hear of your experience of therapeutic abandonment, considered to be one of the most egregious problems in field of psychotherapy. I hope you will not be too discouraged by this experience which is unusual and fairly rare I would say and that you will find another therapist very soon.

I think if you the therapist cares about you, tells you he or she can help you, and you see yourself making some progress, then keep going back. The answering phones during session, this happens with my therapist. On the other hand, when I have a problem and need guidance, he answers the phone almost 24 hours a day. Or go visit other therapists as well and look for a good fit.

Ask around for referrals and ask what the therapist will be able to do for you or what positive outcomes you can hope to achieve in counseling. Then stick it out. I have to disagree. You t should never talk on the phone, keep looking at her cell or have any other distractions when they are speaking with you. That is time that you had often pay dearly for. Any therapist who answers a phone in session is just downright rude!!

End of story, no exceptions. There is simply no excuse to put your phone ahead of the distressed person in front of you. I have never even seen her with a phone in her hand. I have another perspective about answering the telephone during sessions. The impact on my session was devastating. The phone rang excessively right in the middle of my discussing how difficult the therapy was for me. He did not take it, but when I asked what would happen if he did need to take it, he replied that I would need to step out of the room.

I immediately imagined that if he asked me to step out, I would walk out and never return. All I can say is that I cannot imagine being in the middle of a really difficult moment, even more than I already was and having the phone ring and ring. As a therapist, I am always apologetic and quick to act when I accidentally leave the ringer or my voice mail on and there is a disruption in a therapy session. Sometimes intrusions are unavoidable, they happen.

But how can one ever really relax into a session, knowing that the therapist is allowing the intrusion? I will discuss this further with this therapist, but am losing hope about a positive outcome. Your analyst sounds like a narcissistic and rather incompetent person. Please consider expressing your emotions to him and then finding another therapist. Thanks for this excellent list! We post our client rights document and privacy statements in the waiting room and keep copies there for clients. In addition, all of our clients receive, read, and then sign and informed consent document, a copy of which is also in our waiting room and on our website.

My Therpist still will not give me my file or any pictures ect. She did everything wrong when she terminated our sessions and she knows it. I have never felt so bad she left me now with bigger issues. I feel ashamed that I ever went to her and confided in her regarding my abuse, I feel like she was the bigger abuser and to start all over will kill me to much stuff.

If the you were seen with a partner, then the therapist would need consent from all involved, or their guardians. If the file only concerns you, then under HIPPA regs you are entitled to view the file and make or have made copies at reasonable cost. If there is a lawsuit pending, that may complicate matters. Hi Violet, I really appreciated your comment about therapists who cry. For example, you may have also felt like she pitied you. Whatever the case, I believe that your therapist was pushing your button by crying, but that it is your button.

My hunch is that this could be a wonderful opportunity for you to explore your feelings about being vulnerable. So I highly encourage you to talk with you therapist about how you are triggered by this, rather than stop therapy. Finding a therapist who is less triggering could be less productive for your therapy and there may be many gifts and treasures to discover by exploring this. I will add that the sharing of emotion technically called intersubjectivity can have a very positive and healing effect for persons, especially those who have experienced trauma and who may feel alone, uniquely violated, and defective because of the abuse.

Sharing affect with a client can make the emotions less disturbing and help the person feel understood on a very deep level. My therapist is a lovely woman except she has on numerous occasions started to cry during my sessions not sobbing! She is very professional in every other sense although this to me is inappropriate and very unprofessional obviously leaving me feeling very uncomfortable! Would be interested to know if this has happened to anyone else? I have stopped my therapy with her, it got too much.

Empathy notwithstanding, it does reek of unprofessionalism however unintended. I would forgo the psychobabble that casts doubt on your perceptions and preferences, and find someone else. She learned she was pregnant by the 2nd visit we had and from that point on I became the listener during our sessions. I was not trying to surprise or hurt her feelings, but she was aghast in surprise.

It was a much better experience with the therapist I got 6 yrs. I would return to her, but to be an informed therapy consumer takes alot of work. Are professional geriatric care managers a trustable resource to help one select therapy providers? I have concerns about conflicts they may have much like the drug trial researchers who also maintain private practice. I still have insurance, but co-pays are considerably higher now. Cost-effectiveness is key for me. A decent source of referral is your PMD primary care physician.

You could also consider asking trusted friends. Please add to your list Therapist uses your insurance to committ fraud then blames you for being impulsive and indirect when you turn him into the insurance company…. I went to a therapist for almost 4 years. She helped me see that I needed to have my partner in therapy too.

Her whole program is based on finding your truth and being in truth so this was considered brave work. My husband did not want to go to this therapist because he felt she and her partner husband were cultish. They have a book and a forum. She warned me about other therapists, but I found some one for marriage counseling. Meanwhile I still saw my therapist. Our sessions ended up being a dissection of the marriage counseling. She finally announced to me that I needed to make a choice to really dig in or not become enlightened. She said her training made her especially capable of making these judgements.

This felt like control by threat. I finally did leave the original therapist, but I have struggled with the quitting and feeling like a coward ever since. Does this seem kosher? He has pressured my spouse to get me to also come for marriage counseling. I thought it was unethical to see a couple for marriage counseling and at the same time see one of them individually. My husband also had an emotional affair with an old high school flame, with whom he met secretly for lunch dates for two years behind my back.

Who is this guy advocating for, anyway?? My therapist obtained my consent to speak with his therapist, after which time he dropped the request for a therapy session that included the other woman. I think this guy is scary and that my spouse should find s different therapist. Should he find a different counselor based on these facts? While they intend to support your self-esteem, validate your experiences, and build your confidence; they can create an inhibition on your part to reveal less attractive thoughts or behaviors of yours, for fear of losing their positive regard towards you.

They may have removed themselves from the experience because the emotion was too painful. Depending on wether the client is ready to explore that emotion relating to their experience, they may move forward with the exploration, or away from the theraputic relationship. It seems to me that many children suffer a sort of dissociation from their feelings as a result of parental rejection, hostility, anger and displeasure; and try to defend and appease their parents by not showing an emotional response that would only further inflame their parents, or caregivers.

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  • Therefor, the therapist in demonstrating the emotion, can help the client in articulating the problem. Young children can suffer much abuse before they become able to well represent what has happened to them in verbal form. Without being able to use language, there are very limited ways to record this, which tends to be the reason many people do not remember their early childhood. Even in early childhood, critical and abstract thinking are not available to record what has happened to one, and so the cause and effect of situations often can not be remembered by an individual in a way they can make use of.

    Often only the emotion can be used to pull that experience out, in order to look at it, and deal with it, grow, and move on. I feel like I am having some issues with my therapist lately. I need a letter of clearance from her for a fertility clinic so that I can be artificially inseminated. She then feels like she needs to talk to me about my plans and offers me parenting advice which I never ask for. Very standard practice. You make a number of excellent points here. I would like to just under score and amplify one, if I may. As is often the case with children, especially those who have experienced chronic early maltreatment within the caregiving relationship, adults may have difficulty knowing what they feel or experience.

    In many ways, this reflecting back of the emotion and experience is what occurs in a healthy parent-child relationship and is an essential part of the development of a healthy and secure pattern of attachment. The developing infant and child comes to know what the child feels by seeing it reflected in back from a responsive, sensitive, insightful caregiver. Hows about therepists who ignore the issues you want to talk about, and press on things you dont regard as important?

    I had a therapist who kept trying for things in my childhood or family,, and I had to fight to try to talk about what I wanted to talk about. This happens to me, too. Not in every session, but a lot. Once I wanted to say how I became angry at some man who stepped into the garden no fence against my will…. The therapist pushed to talk about another issue which he prepared, so I gave up.

    It was not that bad… I hoped I could raise it some other time. Many other sessions the therapist started to distract me from the topics I wanted to talk about -all those who were not related to my childhood, usually it ended up by a completely different issue that the therapist talked about his favorite -sexual experiences, even though I was not in relationship , it was as he wanted to push me into these topics despite my current energy and feelings were somewhere else.

    At the end of those session I was confused. I could have not talked about what was happening to me. I tried to bring up my current issue again and again a fight with the therapist. The therapist said couple of phrases to my share and started another issue…often very mind-related and I gave up.

    I tried to follow the therapist- topics in my mind. I guess it means that I needed to process my emotional and body experience from the trauma and I was distracted from them into my mind, by also choosing another topic the one the therapist considered important. I never asked directly :are you a PTSD specialist, do you have any experience?

    My life from birth through my mids was a mess of chronic horrifying stuff mixed in with jolts of new awful events. All anyone needs to do is to live in the present-day reality as best they can, without being distracted by flashbacks. I practiced Staying in the Present many thousands of times over several years, and got more and more and more relief as my reactions got quicker. As I said, just a thought. I also have had a few unfortunate experiences with professionals who are supposed to help, and never hurt.

    My psychiatrist of 9 years terminated by sending me a form letter — she actually just put my name after the Dear… part. That was it. The damage she did — it was one of the hardest things for me to handle. I just can not understand why anyone, but especially a professional, would treat someone like that. Needless to say, I now have more trust issues than ever. Does anyone know if this is something that could be reported?

    Dear Mara, In thinking about the termination through the letter, I have a couple of questions. One, had you been seeing this psychiatrist regularly? Two, has there been a long time since your last appt. Sometimes a clinician cannot have a patient on their caseload who is not keeping appts. It actually becomes a liability for them. They have no choice but to terminate after several attempts to schedule or contact you.

    If she is leaving her practice entirely, a letter may the way she notifies a large case load. If you have been seeing this psychiatrist regularly, I would indeed imagine that you would feel hurt by this kind of notification. This is worth discussing with her. She would need to know the impact of this letter on you. It is clear though that you do feel hurt by this, so I encourage you to contact the psychiatrist to express yourself.

    I have had a couple of practitioners who have eaten during a session. One ate a Whopper there was a Burger King next door , the other, an apple. I never said anything, but I was mildly irritated. I also had a therapist that would sit and wait for me to say something and get mad that I was not working at it. As i worked with her futher she changed a lot she was not warm and fuzzy any longer but hard and mean. When she did dump me she said she no longer looked forward for me coming to see her, and i became harder to work with…..

    When I did discuss this with her she told me I have a personality disorder were did that come from? I am sorry that you had such a terrible experience in therapy. I am a LMHC who has been working with survivors of sexual abuse for years. Not once have I made a client feel so uncomfortable.

    Most of my clients have told me several times how grateful they are and how much therapy has helped them. Please do not give up on treatment. It really does work once you find someone you can connect with. Best wishes! These have been excellent issues and a very good discussion. As moderator of this blog thread, I decided to post the above comment by Trace because her second paragraph is quite supportive and valid. I removed it. Also, be aware there are some Social Workers who have Drs in other fields. LCSWs can have just as much or more post graduate training in psychotherapy as any psychologist.

    Also, the idea that social workers do not adhere as strictly to their ethical guidelines as psychologists do to theirs is false and terribly misleading. In fact, the ethical guidelines for Social Workers are highly respected in the field of mental health as an enormous effort to prevent harm. I am surprised the comment was removed; it does not sound slanderous at all. What you said about social workers adhering to their ethical standards as much as psychologists do is of course absolutely true. Ethics standards for Psychologists are simply much stricter in many areas; they are known to have the tightest ethical standards in the U.

    I am also surprised to hear you say that some social workers can have as much psychotherapy training as any psychologist. All psychologists have a minimum of years of graduate training after college, and most get additional training and practice beyond that before getting licensed.

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    You are welcome to correct me, however, if I am wrong…. A therapist should be considerate and able to adapt or find a kind way to explain why it is important they do what they do. If it still does not feel right for you, report them to their licensing board! All licensed therapists must make this information available to you upon request. In any event, the administrator is correct. If one goes to the website for the National Association of Social Workers and reads the code of ethics it is every bit a stringent, specific, and highly ethical as that of those who belong to the medical professional and psychology profession.

    Those with a MSW must do an internship that accounts for about half of the required 60 credits. A MA in psychology, for example, only requires 30 or so credits and no internship. To be licensed LCSW, for example usually requires passing a National test, presenting verification of a certain number of years experience varies by state and letters from supervisors. Good Psy. Sure admin, chiming in here about the LCSW vs. The research is very clear neither discipline is better than the other in terms of therapeutic effectiveness and this finding is across disorders.

    Years of experience is also not at all correlated with effectiveness. Thank you for the site and the interesting topic. First let me clarify. In the State of California there is a written and an oral exam. The oral exam is now a written series of Vignettes. This is by choice as I work for the federal government and could just take the national exam and leave it at that. It has taken me 6 years counting 4yrs undergrad to complete the degree alone. And two years minimum to complete the post degree hours of supervision.

    As a case manager and addictions counselor. Now as for the degree it self. It was required that I complete a minimum of 80 units. It is counted as Hrs. In social work this is a true internship and it is part of the curriculum to qualify for the MSW degree. Very much like the medical degrees. You must complete during your degree! This is usually completed within two years but in some cases with approval from the academic standards board at the University, you can extend the degree to three years. That requires the student to attend a major university.

    The standards for the MSW degree are huge. For good reason, the MSW degree is also the oldest mental health degree and profession in mental health, except psychiatry. I have therapist I rely on that is an awesome guy. He is a PsyD and a wonderful therapist and person. The ability for two people to relate and communicate on even ground with trust and honesty. This process takes time, patience and requires focus on the relationship. Credentials are very important as well as licensing. What is a LCSW? Clinical Social Work Defined Clinical social work is a practice specialty of the social work profession.

    It builds upon generic values, ethics, principles, practice methods, and the person-in-environment perspective of the profession. Its purposes are to: Diagnose and treat bio-psycho-social disability and impairment, including mental and emotional disorders and developmental disabilities. Achieve optimal prevention of bio-psycho-social dysfunction. Support and enhance bio-psycho-social strengths and functioning. Clinical social work practice applies specific knowledge, theories, and methods to assessment and diagnosis, treatment planning, intervention, and outcome evaluation.

    Practice knowledge incorporates theories of biological, psychological, and social development. It includes, but is not limited to, an understanding of human behavior and psychopathology, human diversity, interpersonal relationships and family dynamics; mental disorders, stress, chemical dependency, interpersonal violence, and consequences of illness or injury; impact of physical, social, and cultural environment; and cognitive, affective, and behavioral manifestations of conscious and unconscious processes.

    Clinical social work interventions include, but are not limited to, assessment and diagnosis, crisis intervention, psychosocial and psycho-educational interventions, and brief and long-term psychotherapies. These interventions are applied within the context of professional relationships with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Clinical social work practice includes client-centered clinical supervision and consultation with professional colleagues.

    Adopted 12 Feb. Very nicely stated. Thank you for taking the time here. As you mention, the internship standards are pretty intensive and the requirements for licensure are also very stringent. Yes the MSW degree is just that, a professional degree. Which is a little different than an academic degree you mentioned. Mainly, for the obvious purpose of referral and using our strengths in the mental health field as professionals to better help our clients. We all know people who may be of a different degree or background that excels in a certain type of help they can provide a client.

    No one wants to think that they have nothing to offer a client. But, all to often that is the case. I think it is imperative that we as profession begin to operate similar to the medical profession. They form medical groups and they have their specialists in certain areas who like what they do and do it well.

    There should also be some front line general practitioners in our field. Mental health groups of all backgrounds would help facilitate this, much like medical groups. But we all must be able to recognize our own limitations.

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    Whether it is personality, skills, education or personal background. My Old Therapist would make me wait for 20 minutes cause she was starving as I read an old magizine she chomped on her to go lunch.. What a rip. I personally would walk out of the session or prior to the 20min being up if my therapist treated me that way.

    No excuse. On Dual Relationships. Dual relationships can be unethical and illegal, they can also be unavoidable or even mandatory, yet some dual relationships are clinically beneficial. We need to be flexible and learn that the meaning of dual relationships can only be understood within the context of therapy. Ofer Zur. I think you make a good point, which is that the relationship between you and your therapist is what is essential to getting help and benefits from therapy.

    Always assuming your therapist is licensed and appropriately trained for your issues. I note, however, that it is not so much the training that has been important as it has been the connection we were able to establish …. I have been seeing a counselor for 16 years for many family events. I cannot afford to see her now. I am not sure what to do. I feel guilty but I am more comfortable with her. Also the second counselor keeps her uneaten lunch supplied by the drug reps in her top drawer to munch on between appts:.

    I appreciate the opportunity to share my experiences. During my 4th brain injury recovery I too was hugged after each session without being asked. I have a hard time with boundaries and confrontation so I discontinued therapy without explanation even though I really needed further help. I am online seeking that help now after 7 years and noticed this blog. What I needed was to overcome fear and devise compensating learning tactics. Since then I have earned a 3. I doubt those counselors could match that.

    I regret skipping college due to my fears, lack of understanding my brain injuries and listening to really bad advice from ignorant school guidance counselors. Think about adding the following item to your list. They should not discourage you from honorable goals. I have gratitude for many clients that show dedication and trust in their treatment with me. Some work harder than others, some more internally motivated than others. I strongly believe that I have an ethical responsibility to continue to see internally motivated clients although their ability to pay has changed.

    Do I owe that same loyalty to those who are only externally motivated? No, because it would be a disloyalty to keep someone in therapy that is not clinically progressing regardless of their ability to pay. If a client is committed and loyal to their treatment, then yes, I would and have reduced their fees to what is reasonable for that client at that time.

    In the event that a potentially new client cannot afford the services, there are many community counseling services that receive funding for those who are financially limited and in need of therapy. As these economic times have become fragile in the past year, I have had a couple of very motivated clients who have been laid off from their places of employment and they have lost their health insurance by no fault of their own.

    Many clients have issues of past abandonment with authority figures or persons they had entrusted. I believe that refusing to see them in their time of financial crisis would be ethically irresponsible and clinically would be considered to be an issue of abandonment. So, Denise, it looks like you have a great topic for your next session…how has this issue revealed clinical significance on your issues you are addressing in therapy?

    PS-I love this forum! Very thought provoking as a therpaist and excellent real life continuing education. To add another to the list: A therapist telling you not to talk about certain issues, i. Supposely the woman gave her one diagnosis to then change it. They are obssesed with each other and that leads nowhere. It is plain bullshit that you can file a complain and hold them accountable. Noone should have that much power. This is a sign of poor organization in my opinion, distracts from the work at hand, and is terribly disruptive.

    If there is not one, then the likelihood of it occurring and your being able to do anything about it during the 50min we are together is unlikely. Please answer the calls between appointments, at night or in the morning. Being always available is not helpful, and a lot less productive. Dual Relationship? I was seeing a therapist for depression, anxiety, and numerous emotional issues. During one of my sessions she asked if I wanted some tea she was seeing me at her home as she was going to make some, I said no thank you.

    When she returned with her cup of tea she sat down and brought up a completely different topic, with no correlation to the prior subject. This will be my last session. I appreciate this website very much, and am glad you posted warning signs to help educate us as patients. God Bless you, and may your hearts be healed so you can enjoy the beautiful things life has to offer each and every one of us.

    They are also not taking any new medicare or disability patients. I do see another therapists off and on now and they keep asking me if i am seeing her. I think they will drop me if i am. I too was seeing a therapist for a number of years. I had a good relationship with this person, and started to heal. As I developed other supports, that the average person would have, such as friends, a faith community and a chosen family, the therapist naturally stepped into the background.

    Then the friends died, the faith community kicked me out and the chosen family left and moved out of the country. I was still seeing the therapist, at the time, but the therapist has not given me an appointment in over 15 weeks, prefering instead to have me check in by phone leave a message and would call me back and leave a message.

    Granted I was not being charged for this, but found it highly annoying. I had an outstanding balance due, which was scheduled to be paid from the next paycheck and I went out on disability, and the payment was delayed only until the disability payments started coming in. The therapist has now been paid. However things have deteriorated to the point where I no longer feel comfortable talking to this person….

    I am all done. I think it is a great way for both professionals and consumers to keep up to date and really see the concerns people are having. What I find so distressing is that many professionals are not helping their clients understand the therapy process, and what its all about. I am saddened to have read so many accounts of unprofessional behavior.

    I always encourage people to be informed consumers, and to know the different ways that you can file a complaint if you feel that you have been a victim. I also encourage people to keep the dialogue open if you feel that something is off about your therapist, or your therapy. Sometimes, it can be very beneficial to openly discuss your concerns about certain behaviors, such as the eating during sessions, taking phone calls, excessive wait time etc.

    As an MSed and LPC I had to complete a masters degree of 60 credit hours from an accredited university, plus over clock hours of true internship experience. After this was completed, in order to be licensed by the board in the state of Ohio, I was required to pass the National Counselors Exam,and background check. From my experience I have learned that while there are many different helping professions such as psychologists, clinical social workers, clinical counselors, and psychiatrists, their degree and experience is not always going to tell you how they will be in sessions.

    How you connect with that person is going to tell you. I think every therapist brings something different to the table, just as every client does. You have every right to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. With that in mind though, make sure that you give someone a chance, sometimes it just takes a little time for the therapeutic relationship to grow. I want to file a claim on my therapist, she makes me sick she took advantage of me and raped my soul. How can these so called professionals get away with this behavior…???

    I just feel sorry for her clients she has now…. One recommendation I would not completely agree with is the suggestion of getting a therapist referral from your medical doctor. A regular doctor, in my opinion, has more or less no special ability to make a therapist recommendation. And — of course there are exceptions. Or see if anyone you know knows a psychologist or social worker, as these professionals know therapists and their work.

    While most of these seem excellent warnings, there do seem to be a number of contradictory examples, or examples that seem too vague. Therapists ought to have both the experience and the practical knowledge that allows them to move towards painful issues at a pace suitable to each individual. But for us to judge a therapist without the same experience and training seems like it would be too easy to prevent useful therapy from occurring. I think that is somewhat true. However, it is important that as a patient, I click with the therapist.

    When we are pushed too far, and the therapist refuses to back down, there is a problem. The therapist who promotes their own agenda misses the cues. This could happen to any professional, but to not claim or own it is untherapeutic. All of this causes the therapy to not be effective, or AS effective, as both should want it to be. SO both the therapist and the client should reiterate often during the course of therapy, what they understand the goal of therapy to be. The therapist should teach this to the client from the start.

    Therapy should help the client, know how to do therapy on themself…and eventually not need the therapist. Now, there are a group of clients whose main goal in therapy is to hear themselves validated. This, they feel, gives them the courage to continue. The energy, the esteem to face life. BUT, a therapist can not get a client to work on something, IF they do not want to do this.

    A good therapist, will be aware of when this is happening to them. Which tends to make me suggest that a good therapist will NOT have eight hours back to back sessions during the day. Very few people can do their maximum best work, for eight hours straight. If the therapist trys to confront the client on areas the client has not agreed are areas they want to improve…this may feel like an ambush. It makes you feel a little better for the moment; BUT it does not do the prime task of therapy, which is to make you your own therapist, someone who eventually will not need another person as a crutch to cope with the world.

    They are looking for a home; a surrogate parent, family or friend. A place to dock their boat when life feels stormy, and is out of control. They want a place to feel soothed, valued, and accepted. No more than you would marry the first person you dated as all dates would be equal would the first therapist you saw, have the likely hood of meeting your particular needs and style.

    Also, sadly, sometimes after you have been married for a while, you may have grown beyond your mate, and wish to move on. The fault here would be with the therapist, because the minute that the therapist starts feeling frustrated, the therapist should re-check to see they are going in the direction the client wants.

    The therapist should help the client see what is happening in their relationship, not just leave the client wondering what IS going on. If the therapist realizes that they are not capable of helping the client grow to the level the client wants; the good therapist should offer to help the client find the person who can. Sometimes this means confronting the client, but with the VERY things the client says they want. The goals may need to be re-thought, or new goals added after this is done. BUT, know this happens in many, many cases. It is the conflict between the conscience and the ID, and is normal.

    It is up to a good therapist to make this understandable and workable in therapy. One part of us believes in our changing, wants it. The other part finds it embarrassing, overwhelming, and impossible. If the therapist is relying on trust alone, and there is not enough trust established, the client may leave therapy. Everything should be with a purpose in mind, and an anticipated result. If the therapist confronted the client; the therapist should anticipate the result, AND be ready to deal with the result, they intended to create. Before the therapist confronts, the therapist should know the client well enough to be able to anticipate the result.

    An exception to this would be, if the therapist has not been able to find a way into a resistant client, who may not be there voluntarily, and may use confronting as a tool to try to uncover some insight into what makes the client tick.


    This means, therapy is like doing a load of clothes. You have to know how much time you have not only to wash them, but to dry them. The same is true for therapy, if you leave the client holding a bag full of bad feelings at the end of the session, the client may quit therapy. Just so, a good therapist, needs to plan the session so that if painful feelings will be experienced, the good therapist needs to make sure they will have enough time to help the client make sense of all of this and see the achievement they have made by working on the painful areas.

    Same is true in therapy. You break the muscles down to a degree, in order to rebuild them. AND just like exercise there is a warm up, and a cool down period. This said, IF you have been having a GOOD and productive relationship with your therapist in general, and you have ONE or a few sessions here and there where you leave feeling not much better or even upset; the therapist may have had an off day…like us all.

    You will need to confront the therapist, each time this happens, and see what THEY say, then act from there if you are satisfied…or not, with their explanation. When a therapist gets angry…or has any emotional reaction to something in therapy…a good therapist always explores what is causing this. A bad therapist will say, the client MADE me feel this way.

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    So to have good results, you will not only need a good therapist, but a good client. When YOU have an emotional reaction to something that happened in therapy, take a look at it. Discuss it with your therapist. See how they react. Do they help you come to terms with it, or leave you hanging. Geuss which one is a sign of a good therapist. Am I angry because someone is telling me this? Lots of people go to therapy, expecting the therapist to do the work.

    You face things you would rather not, you experience and re-experience hurt, shame, awful heartbreak. You have to readdress those miserable painful issues that damaged you in the first place. Some of which you did not even realize at the time were happening to you. Generally, pain comes before change. A baby coming throught the birth cannal is not just slipping happily through.

    It is an exhausting, painful for both sides difficult path. You have to decide what you want, what you are willing to work for. You have to decide how much you can take, at what time. So make sure you are clear on what you are telling your therapist you want from them. Realize each therapist has different tallents, or lack of tallents.

    One might be intelligence. If you happen to be a gifted person, probably only another gifted person will be able to lift you beyond yourself. It is said, that one can only truly teach to the level they have themselves reached.

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    Consider this, all you need to get that degree is a passing grade. Some schools may pass on D students, many pass on C students.. There are only a few A students in any bunch. They show their diploma, not their grades. If you were an A student, you may need a therapist that was too. Every body learns best in different ways. Processes information in different ways.

    We tend to feel best understood, and understand others that function in the manner we do. I do agree with much of what you are saying. Although grades in graduate school are not the same as in undergrad. Here is a sample of grade requirements for grad school: The unit curriculum of the MSW degree program provides the mix of academic, experiential, and research experiences essential for MSW degree students. Students must maintain a program grade point average of 3. The minimum acceptable grade for required core courses is a B- 2. Grades in selective courses must be a minimum of a C 2.

    Courses with grades falling below the standards set for required and selective courses must be repeated. Students are financially responsible for the cost of repeating courses where grades obtained do not meet the minimum standards. The minimum grade in regular classes is a B-. Selective courses are courses apart from the regular curriculum of your choice. Some professionals believe Medicare will not cover phone therapy, but they do. I just need the Medicare papers to sign. Anyone here willing? Or know of someone? Main issues: 1.

    Previously learned coping skills wear out fast when in this kind of life situation; would like to find some new skills to last at least few years more before having to develop another new set. Not sure how to connect to someone here if anyone is willing ; possibly the Admin could give my email address to a professional interested in working with me? She denigrates other psychologists, although not to their face. She thinks she is the best. She is extremely convincing. Given she works with people with BPD and personality disorders her own problems should be well addressed.

    She never bothered getting professional supervision. Hopefully she is now. She has serious boundary issues and had a serious occurence that happened with a psychiatrist at VGH Out-Patient Psychiatry where action needed to be taken. They should. Be careful and if you think you are doing therapy with this woman, run. I feel that my therapist has judged me on my weight, being a stay at home mom, and not driving.

    I always feel worse about myself after every session. She canceled three sessions in about 4 months last year; I had to wait another month after my scheduled appointment to see her again. If I wanted someone to tell me what a loser I am, I would call my mother in law. I have experienced 2 incidents that I feel hindered my therapy. I confronted him when I realized it, but it kept surfacing during therapy and I feel contributed to the problem I had with transference because I felt violated by my therapist and kept seeing him as the person who violated me during childhood.

    That statement made me feel more worthless than I felt before I started therapy, and was the reason I left therapy with him, and the reason I will never have therapy again with a male therapist. Therapist falls asleep. Therapist throws a tissue box at you, instead of offering one. Therapist laughs at what you wrote in a journal. Therapist repeatedly insists on a specific diagnosis, even when client has proof otherwise. When I was young, I was served liver and onions. It was absolutely horrible.

    I gagged and gagged while trying to eat it; tears even came to my eyes. After that terribly unsatisfying experience I did not conclude that all food is terrible and that I just could not ever eat food again. I did conclude that that particular dish did not meet my needs in any way whatsoever and that I would not be going back to liver and onions one more time. I do wish that the patients on this list and elsewhere who have had terrible, undesireable, gag-worthy, tear-provoking experiences with therapists would not blame all therapists or all therapy for their terrible experiences.

    And, to be honest, I was and always have been as intimidating as the family dog. Mail the book back, or put it in a sealed manila envelope and leave it in someplace where she can pick it up, and send the therapist a note. He had TWO phones, his cell and the regular one and while we were doing the initial question and answer eval his cell phone and also the regular line rang constantly.

    I ignored it and kept talking, but he finished the eval and said he had been expecting an important call and would I mind if he just checked his cell phone real quick and then when he got back we could chat for awhile or I could just come back. I said, ok, and he went and came back in like two minutes and apologized. He sat down and we talked for like 20 more minutes but the whole time the phones were absolutely ringing like mad! There needs to be some kind of work shop for therapists on abandoning a client with no resolve or closure, thats just damaging to the client.

    He use to encourage me to call during a crisis and we would even text back and forth and then one day he just started acting really strange towards me, saying things that would hurt my feelings, but I was never sure if he meant them that way or not and the way he terminated to therapy feels like it was more of a personal attack instead of just deciding he couldnt help anymore.

    I really think he wants me to be hurt. Its really thrown me into a downward spiral and I feel like all of the progress I made has just been beaten out of me. I dont even know what I did to make him decide he hates me so much. But it makes me question therapy and it makes me leary about trying to find another therapist. I think psychologists should be aware of the impact they actually make on their clients and avoid causing them more harm.

    When is unilateral termination by a therapist ever ok? Any and all answers could be healing. Counsellor blames you while making excuses for your family, friends or partner. Counsellor doubts, second-guesses and challenges your EVERY thought, opinion and course of action, regardless of its significance to your issues. Counsellor ignores your explicit requests to focus on a specific issue during a session, and instead keeps returning to other issues.

    You can be upset about something and understand it quite well and know exactly what to do — these things are not mutually exclusive. I had uncomfortable feeling about it, but chalked it up to my needing social skills. Last week I discovered one of our members was a registered sex offender, and my T knew. This was not ever disclosed to me at any time.

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    We found out he reoffended and returned to jail. I suspected this was a sex offence and searched the sex offender registry, only to find a picture of my group member the member was into child porn , who now has my phone number we were encouraged to exchange phone numbers. I think he acted unethically. I have been a therapist for 20 years, and I was really upset by this article.

    It is an unpredictable journey. Sometimes I am not sure what the cause of the distress is. Rather than provide unnecessary explanation, I prefer to continue and explain as we go. What is important is to listen to client when he feels it is complete, rather than artifical definition. Well, what about parents that are — or were — abusive physically, emotionally, sexually?

    What about a woman in a domestic violence situation? For highly intelectual and defensive people it may be easy to start from cognition, and later access their emotions. Otherwise they may escape. Others may benefit from starting to deal with their emotions. Why is it bad? I am guilty of that. My husband is frequently out of state, and I am the only one who can answer for my children. I do not think anyone was ever offended.

    You are either too emphatic, or not enough. Am I supposed to be made of wood? Of course I am affected emotionally. Only later it makes sense to understand to causes. Who wrote this article? Is that person a therapist? I was so shocked by some of your comments that I felt compelled to defend the author and to protect those people who might be considering therapy from some of your misunderstandings…. Too many talk therapists simply let their clients talk, emot, and go in the same circles session after session without ever getting anywhere.

    A good therapist should be experienced enough to communicate how they actually help people to change. I think that most therapists would agree that a client stuck in anger and blame is not a client who has healed from their abuse. I think so indeed!

    A therapist does a disservice to the client by joining with the client in blaming another. And vice versa, is it not useful for someone with a histrionic personality constellation to learn to access their more rational and logical capacities?? I would say yes to both, and I think the author here is trying to say that also….

    I suggest you consult with other therapists about this. I think answering the phone is a big no-no which can undermine the safety of the therapeutic relationship…especially for clients with particular relational woundings. I think this is certainly the case and I agree with the author of this article that therapists need to be able to open their hearts without over identifying and becoming blended with their own pain…. Of course therapists are affected emotionally, but if the therapists own stuff is getting triggered during a session, then the therapist is going to be less effective… The healthy therapist does his or her own work so they can stay empathetic, emotionally connected, but not overwhelmed, over-emotional, and over affected.

    Imagine how it would feel for a client to see their therapist breaking down? Dam I hate it when therapists talk about how many years of experience they have!